Why?

Why am I so sad all of the time? Seriously. I have so many reasons to be a cheerful person but I just can't seem to find the will to be happy. I cry more than I smile, I prefer to huddle in my bed and cover my head with my blanket than do anything else, I have a Tim Burton's Tragic Thoughts journal, (you can find it on the internet, the stupid library computers won't let me link it.) and I fill it with, well, tragic thoughts. Am I a seriously messed up individual?

I do, however, try to find ways to cope. Mostly I immerse myself in books and musicals and Tim Burton movies and other awesome movies and musicals that have been made into movies. Every musical I've seen is really amazing and I love it, but my favorites are Sweeney Todd, RENT, Les Miserables and Avenue Q. I have yet to see Moulin Rougue and Phantom of the Opera, but those are next on my list.

The Phychiatrist says I'm slightly depressed. I also have a sliet anxiety disorder. I know it's probably that, but still. I feel...pathetic when I'm so sad all the time. It's like I want to be miserable, or my mind doens't want me to be happy. And then I think about how much better my life is than those poor children in third world coutries who have no electricity no food and no educationa and I hate myself a little more.