Death seems so sweet right now.

And I know that sounds like an emo thing to say, but it's the truth. Really. Stopping life seems to be the best exit for me right now because really if I have to sit through one more second of life I might scream. I feel like exploding and crying and laughing and screaming all at the same time and I can't get over how much I just want to die. Nothing works out, my life is shit and so is the everyday emotional state of my personal being. So fuck it, that's what I say. I'm going to just stay in my bedroom for the rest of my life. Sit there, rotting, watching Sweeney Todd and Repo! The Genetic Opera and other epic movies, read some books, eat some food and stay there until I'm 73 and die of old age....or 34 and die of too much aeresol cheese spray (I've never actually tasted it, but I would eat it if I had it, mostly because I could just not do manything and eat it.) Or until I give up and kill myself. Okay, okay, I get it. I'm being suicidal right now, and I very well may not have any idea what true desperation is, but still. I just....whatever. Good bye world and all who inhabit it.

I hate the sun

I really really do. I took my little sister to the pool today. She had a good time, and I got caught up on my reading, so it was good. Except...I couldn't find the sunscreen. So we went sunscreenless. You know where this is going. She's fine. Hardly burnt at all. My shoulders, however, are killing me. Like, death by pain. Owww.

On top of that I'm pretty tired too. And that is why I hate the sun. And so, I cut this complainitory post short, for I have zippo inspiration and no energy to think. Adieu, mes amis.

Happiness is when the second choice is better than the first choice

So today I was at Wal Mart. I was hoping to buy The Sims 3 Ambitions, but they were all out because it's a new expansion and blah blah blah. So I was pretty bummed. That is, until I saw a copy of Penny Dreadfuls Sweeney Todd. Now, and avid Sweeney fan such as myself would have been over the moon. Which, naturally, I was. So, instead of remaing sad, I treated myself to a purchase to cheer myself up. And Now I'm estatic. It's an awesome game! But it gives me a headache sometimes, lots of strain on the eyes.

Uuuuuuuuuuuugh.........................

I have a headache. A very big headache. But not a real headache. Well, sort of a real headache, becasue I just clonked my head on a wall, but that's not the point. I am trying to comprehend the mess that is Twila, the Girl Who Waz in Luv with a Vampyre, which is almost as bad as My Immortal. Not to mention that I'm sitting in English class and it always drives me insane because, just my luck, I get stuck with the idiots who decide that hair clothes and boyfriends make a future (alright, so I'm sure they have more subtance to them I guess, but it doesn't seem like it.) Not to mention that I am an outcast, that girl you see walking in the halls, eyes down, mp3 out, book in front of her face? Yeah, that's me. The overweight girl who looks about ready to kill someone. But she has friends. And you've seen them. But they're outcasts too. And you watch while the people try to cut her down for wearing whatever the hell pops out of her closet at her first thing in the morning, and then she writes about it on he rblog, not mentioning names for chance that it might get discovered and she might get caught and penalized, her life made a living hell, her spirit broken. They tell you life's not really like that. But what do they know?

Encore is my new favorite word.

That's right, encore is my new favorite word. Know why? Cuz we're doing an encore performance of a few songs from the musical, that's why! I am so happy! Plus we get to do a song for the Cappies, which is basically the Oscars (is that the movie one? Eh, I dunno, they're all the same to me) for the school performances of Niagara (At least here it's the Niagra Region, I don't know if they do this elsewhere.) And we've been NOMINATED! WHOOO! Actually, they try to give us fair chance, so most people got nominated, but still. And, yours truly got nominated for Supporting Actress (which is weird, but oh well. I'll live.)

EDIT NOTE: The encore was great. Granted, it was just the song we were nominated for, but still. Better than nothing. The DVD's came in as well. I love it. Well, could been shot better, but it was still great. Got lots of pictures too. Cappies is on Thursday. Can't wait. Adios, amigos.

Attack of The Sadish Radish

That's right, I am a Sadish Radish. We've been finished performances for five days (yes, it's been about 25 days, give or take since the last post) and I am so sad. The set has been dismantled, and their painting the stage black again tonight. I am so sad about it. But we can purchase DVD's, so it's not ALL bad. Still pretty depressing

Anyway, I am in the middle of English class right now. My teacher may yell at me at any moment. We've got to compare three different movie versions of one scene from Hamlet (Mel Gibson, Keneth Branagh and David Tennat...David Tennant FTW) I'm a little bit not having any insperation. But I'm about to get yelled at, any second. So I'm leaving you with this very small post and one final word : Anomotapea. And I don't even think I spelled it correctly. Anyway, Adios!

Sleep...

Sleep is good. Except for when it doesn't want to come to you. Then it's a meanie. 14 days and counting until the first show, 15 days until official opening night. I'm talking, of course of the musical that I've mentioned. I am so stoked! And I'm not the only one. Everyone I know is pretty much counting the days. We've worked so hard on it, and even though we're not quite there yet, we're getting there. Rehearsal until 6:30 tomorrow, all of act one. Which is good for me, because that's where I am mostly. I need to pretend to hit and be horrible to this little girl I absolutely adore though, so that's a little not cool, but eh, I'll get over it.

I am incredibly bored. I am forever searching the web and I can't find anything to do, and I can't think of anything to do at home cept for read a book and all of the books I'm working on aren't within my grasp right now. Reading Fifth Buisness for English. It's not bad. Reading the Castaways of The Flying Dutchman for fun. It's really good. Reading A Spot of Bother for fun, it's really good too. But none of them are accessible (well, that's a lie, A Spot of Bother's up in my room, but I don't really feel like reading it and Fifth Buisness is in my coat pocket, but I don't think I can focus on any book right now. But The Castaways of The Flying Dutchman's at school, and that's the one I really want to read...but not right now. Because I'm tired)

My eyelids are quite heavy and are half dropping over my eyes, so I think I'm going to go to bed...maybe. Or I'll read a fanfiction. Either CSI (I've got a soft spot for Nick and Greg) or Kingdom Hearts (Not to sound too much like a clone, but AkuRoku FTW) or maybe I'll pick up on the FAKE mpreg I'm reading. Oh, decisions decisions. Oh well, I'm getting out of here, anyway, that's for sure. So I'll see you whenever I get around to updating, which may not be for a while because starting tomorrow, as I said, we stay after school to 6:30 and later 7:30. So I'll see you when I have time to see you. Bye fellow nerds! (Unless you're not a nerd. In which case, I don't see what you see in this, the home of Mega Nerd. I'm Mega Nerd, by the way. And you know what? I am okay with that.)