Those carefree days I used to know, where have they gone where did they go?

Growing up sucks. I look back at all the things I used to love, and all the things that made life worth living, and now, I'm apparently too old to do any of them. I'm not supposed to watch kids TV, I can't dress up anymore, and the only dollhouse that it's socially acceptable to play with is the one in The Sims. I'm not saying life sucks now that I can't do any of that little kid stuff, I'm just saying it would be nice to be six again.

I cleaned out my closet with my mom the other day. We uncovered tons of stuff I used to play with, clothes I used to wear, diaries I wrote in when I was 13. It made me nostalgic. But not in the good way. Often when I think of my childhood, I get sad that it couldn't stay that way. That I couldn't hit a button and everything stayed like it was when I was small. My mom is slowly finding things we've had forever and changing or disposing of them. People are always asking me what I'm doing now I'm out of high school. My mom is also charging me rent and suggesting I get another job so I can move out. Sometimes I just want to tell it all to stop. Go back a decade and a half. I was happier then. Life was easier then. Familiar then.

In on of these sad nostalgic moods, I looked up a bunch of friends from elementary school (on Facebook.) They're all so different from what they used to be like. But I guess I am too. They're all moved away, going to school, getting jobs. Growing up. I was nearly about cry out in frustration when I noticed something comforting. Each person I looked up had a close group of friends back in elementary school. It was comforting to know that the circle had been enlarged, but still contained those same people. I suppose some things stay the same, they have too. And I guess change is good. Sometimes I just wish it would stop for a minute to let me get used to it. Maybe then I wouldn't hate it so much.